“Happiness grows best in the soil of contentment.”
I’m at a time in my journey as a woman where I feel like I’m going through a sort of rebirth. It feels like a rebirth because I am clearly no longer a maiden and while I am (and will always be) a Mother, I’m in the liminal space between being a new mother, toddler mother, preschool mother, and middle-aged mom YET not yet a Crone.
It feels like no one talks about this stage of motherhood. Until now, my focus has simply been “keeping the kids alive” and learning who I have been as a mother and then now, as if overnight, my kids are in school full time and I’m left wondering - who am I “NOW?”
How do I fully step into this unfamiliar place with grace?
I am a woman wondering where my journey is going and often feel like I’m standing at one end of a long walking bridge on a foggy day - and I can’t see where the bridge is taking me but it’s over a dark canyon and I can’t see what’s below or ahead.
I can look back but where I have been these last few years is not where I am going. It FEELS different. I’ve denied the shift. I have wished it wasn’t happening. I have to cross that bridge and move forward but there’s a certain level of trust I must have in what lies on the other side even when I can’t see what that is.
So here I sit, gestating. And like I felt when I was growing my babies, I feel impatient. I want to know what it’s going to look like. I feel restless at times. Unsure. Afraid. Excited. Worried. Amused.
So this is where the yoga comes in to help me make sense of these complicated life experiences. Yoga reminds us that it’s ok and actually helpful to practice “Santosha” - or contentment for where we are without knowing where we are headed.
When we don’t know where the path is leading us, then we can start within and take one small step and feel into it - does it feel in alignment with your heart’s calling? Then we take another step after that until the path becomes clearer.
We have a choice to admire where we are in the journey or scramble in the uncertainty of fog ahead. We can feel into the familiar places and rest there until what’s “next” is reveled. We are still moving forward but we are ALSO being in the present moment with what is and trying to find contentment in that space. Instead of chasing the next.best.thing and feeling lost or unsettled, we can find simple ways to enjoy where we actually are. Maybe it’s a cup of tea. Or watching our children or pets play. Or just walking in nature and taking in the magic that surrounds us.
For me….
I get to choose to trust that the path of what I’m being called to do next and who I am to be then will eventually be illuminated when I’m ready. I understand that rebirth (like childbirth) might be painful at times but nothing worthwhile is ever easy and we often learn the most from those challenging experiences
So while I slowly step onto the bridge toward my next embodied way of serving, I will keep practicing contentment with where I am, enjoying the freedom and privilege of being able to walk forward, head into an adventure, and be carried in love and light.
Won’t you join me?